Bedwetting Solutions For Frustrated Parents

Frustrated parents spend a lot of time seeking bedwetting solutions. Older children with bedwetting problems are not uncommon, and although there are a variety of products available to keep your child dry through the night, a far better solution is to eliminate the bedwetting problem to begin with.

If a child continues to wet the bed, or starts back wetting the bed past the age of four or five, it can be a good idea to have them examined by their pediatrician, just to rule out any physical problems that could be related to the bedwetting. Usually though, the bedwetting is not a sign of any serious physical problem, and it will usually stop as children mature and become more familiar with the feeling of a full bladder and develop greater self control.

But even though children often outgrow bedwetting on their own eventually, in the meantime, it can be a frustrating problem to deal with. Luckily, there are bedwetting solutions available to help.

One type of product is the bedwetting of alarm. These devices will detect the slightest hint of moisture and sound an alarm, waking the child, and in some instances, the parents. Although bedwetting alarms can be an effective deterrent, it is still a good idea to use waterproof liners along with the alarms, as they can take several weeks or even of few months to change the child's behavior.

Unfortunately, some children who wet the bed are also very heavy sleepers. In this eventuality, they may have to be woken up by parents to avoid an "accident." Most bedwetting alarms have various settings, and can be adjusted so that the alarm will wake the parents as well as the child.

Once the child becomes conditioned to respond to the bedwetting alarm, there is usually a gradual reduction in night-time "accidents," much to the relief of the frustrated parents.

When using a bedwetting alarm, the most important consideration is that the device fits snugly so that it will not come off in the middle of the night. It is also important to note that children who tend to toss and turn excessively in the bed will not respond well to alarms in the majority of cases. If you have a child who moves around a great deal in bed, you will likely need to try a different bedwetting solution.

Pull-ups can also be used as bedwetting solutions in some cases. Generally, children have no trouble wearing pull-ups, as they are similar to underwear, and not likely to remind the child of diapers, which of course, they will feel much to old to wear.

But the problem with pull-ups is that they can sometimes be a type of crutch. Because the child knows that the pull-ups will protect the bed, they may be more likely to wet the bed than children who do not use them. One strategy that some parents use is to require the child to wear pull-ups for a month or six weeks, and then abruptly stop using them before the child can come to rely on them as a crutch.

When using any of these bedwetting solutions, parents may want to be sure they are using waterproof mattress liners and other protection, just in case.

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Potty Training, Parents, and Daycare

Understanding how to use the toilet is a big event in a young child's life. Due to the fact toilet training is a complex process, there are many issues day care providers and families must consider before and throughout the process of toilet training for it to be a successful experience for everyone.

How to tell if a child is ready? The Child:

• Follows simple directions
• has a dry diaper for at least 2 hours during the day.
• Has a dry diaper after nap time.
• Regular bowel movements.
• Is able to pull up and down their clothes without needing assistance.
• Shows signs of not liking to wear dirty or wet diapers
• Seems interested in sitting on the toilet.
• wants to wear big boy or girl underwear.

If the child has mastered most of these skills, then they are most likely ready to start toilet training. If they do not have these skills or have a adverse reaction to toilet training, wait a little longer even a few weeks will make a difference, and then they will probably have most of these skills mastered.

Starting too soon can actually prolong the process and cause tears and frustration. Toilet training is much less difficult when the child is ready. It also helps to have potty training friendly clothes. There's nothing more irritating than seeing a child run to the bathroom to go potty and they have an accident due to the fact it took too long to get their clothes off. Pants are the easiest and of course shorts and dresses make it easy for girls.

A good plan to teach potty training is:

• A calm easy going approach works best.

• Caregivers will learn the words the child's family uses for identifying urinating and a bowel movement, to be consistent with what the child is doing at home. Also consult with family about strategies used at home so the process is consistent.

• Toilet training entails many steps (discussing, undressing, going, wiping, dressing, flushing, hand washing) reinforce the child's success at each step.

• Help children understand the difference between urinating or have a bowel movement. They must be aware of what they are doing before them being able to do anything about it.

• Caregivers should be including toilet training into the daily routine such as story time, singing and games that reinforce the skills needed to toilet train.

•Talk to parents and make sure they understand that dressing children in easy to remove clothing to help children be successful in undressing and dressing.

• When a child is showing the signs of having to use the toilet or wants to use the toilet, take the child in make sure they can pull down there pants by themselves. Sit with the child for a few minutes. Try not to expect immediate results.

The child should only sit for a few minutes at a time, help the child with the rest of the routine and make sure to offer a reward such as a sticker a sticker chart will help your child see his progress, and always praise the child whether they do something in the toilet or just sit on the potty.

• Start by having your child sit for only a minute or two if they are going to do something in the potty they will do it in that amount of time making them sit until they do something will only frustrate them, and this could set up a power struggle and negative feeling toward toilet training.

• Do not make a big deal for accidents. Occasional accidents are going to happen. Always clean up the child immediately after the child has an accident. Be positive and reassuring that they will be prosperous. Punishment does not make the process go faster and may delay it.

Parents and daycare providers make a great team when it comes to potty training a child. http://www.murrietaferreirafamilydaycare.com

If you need help communicating more effectively with your toddler there is help http://www.buildyourparentingskills.com

A Parents' Potty Training Manual

If you have a toddler, you have most likely been asked the standard question, "Is she potty trained yet?" Even more likely is that your answer is no! Ultimately toilet learning will not be achieved unless your child is ready. This usually occurs when a child is 18 to 24 months of age. However, it is not uncommon for a child to still be in diapers at 2 and a half to 3 years of age.

Most kids don't start potty training until they're at least 2 years old. In fact, recent statistics show that at least a third of all American children are still in diapers after their 3rd birthday. Developmentally, kids are all over the map: Some kids are ready and eager to start as early as 18 months, while others show zero interest until they're three or four years old.

More important than your child's age are a number of other factors: Can he stay dry for at least three hours during the day? Is he able to understand and follow simple directions? Does he seem interested in "big-kid" activities, such as brushing his teeth, cleaning up his toys, and using the toilet? If so, he may be close to ready.

Other important signs of your child's readiness include:

*being able to follow simple instructions

*understands words about the toileting process

*can regulate the muscles responsible for elimination

*can signal that their diaper is wet or soiled

*expresses a need to go (verbally or through sign)

*keeps a diaper dry for three or more hours

*can get to the potty on her own

*can take off diapers or pull down underpants with minimal assistance

*wakes up dry from naps and/or in the morning

Your toddler may be showing all the signs of readiness, but did you know that you also have to be completely ready for the toilet learning process? You truly need to have the energy, patience, and time it takes to commit to this important adventure. After initial preparation and to officially begin this process, you will need to devote an intensive three to five days to your child and his toilet learning. Then, after the initial learning phase, another two to three months of continued effort on your part will be required.

We all know parenting is not easy. Getting through this developmental milestone is one great example of just how hard it is! An experienced mother of four once told me, "Being toilet trained is such an overrated accomplishment. Diapers are so easy in comparison to cleaning up after accidents, reminding them to go potty every hour, not to mention using public rest rooms! Yuck!"

If you have made the commitment to work with your child on a daily basis so that he or she can master their toilet learning skills, the next thing you are probably thinking is, "How do I actually go about potty training?" Good question! Both of you are showing signs of readiness. Here's what's next:

To Prepare:

Introduce the Concept:

*Allow your child to be present when you go to the bathroom; let them see urine and bowel movements in the toilet.

*Allow your child to observe, touch and become familiar with the toilet.

*Let your child play with flushing the toilet.

*Read books about potty time. (See below for recommendations.)

Encourage Independence:

*Buy an attachment for your bathroom's light switch so that your child can turn the light on and off without help.

*Support your child as they learn to undress and dress themselves when using the bathroom and throughout your normal daily activities.

*Encourage good hygiene and teach your child how to wipe themselves. (This is a higher level skill that will need supervision for a few years.)

*Buy a step stool for reaching the toilet and sink for hand washing and teeth brushing.

Other helpful tips:

*Consider placing a potty chair or seat on each floor of the house if you live in a multilevel home.

*Make the bathroom a fun place. Add special toilet only books and games to your routine.

*Stay with your child when he or she is on the potty chair. Reading or talking to your child when he or she is sitting on the potty may help your child relax.

*If you are training a boy, teach him how to stand and aim into the toilet. Some boys have been so impressed with this technique that they almost automatically potty train.

IMPORTANT: If your child does not seem interested or resists- STOP!! Do not force the issue. Just try again in a few weeks.

How do I teach my child to use the toilet?

First, be patient and supportive. After your child has become comfortable with the bathroom, with flushing the toilet, and with sitting on the toilet, you may begin teaching your child to go to the bathroom. Keep your child in loose, easily removable pants. Tell your child that when they need to go potty they need to tell you. Teach them the words or sign you want them to use. Place your child on the toilet whenever he or she signals the need to go to the bathroom. At first you must be aware of your child's nonverbal signs. Your child's facial expression may change when he or she feels the need to urinate or have a bowel movement. Most children have a bowel movement once a day, usually within an hour after eating. Most children urinate within 15 minutes of waking and an hour after having a large drink.

If you and your child are ready truly ready, now is the time to start potty training. Once you truly start though, you can not go back. Tell your child that diapers are for babies and that he or she is not a baby anymore. Go to the store and let your child pick out new "big kid" underwear. When you get home let your child throw away a few of their old diapers and help him put on his underwear. There is no going back. From now on your child will wear underwear.

I know what you are thinking, and yes the first few days are going to be hellish! You will clean up a lot of pee and do a lot of laundry. But this is the most effective way to teach your child how to eliminate in the appropriate place. It is important not limit your child's fluids, except an hour or two before sleeping. Your child will need to experience the feeling of the pee a few or even several times in order to understand the cause and effect of his body; you feel pressure, you let the urine out and it gets all over you unless you get to the potty in time.

If your child has an accident do not quickly rush them to the potty. You want to teach them to go before not after the have had an accident. Also, try not to change them into dry clothes right away. They need to experience the uncomfortable wetness that happens when you wet yourself. This is a learning process that may take several days. The first few days you should probably stay home, but I encourage you to go on small outing so your child can feel what it feels like to have underwear on. For example, the car seat straps will need adjusting, and using a public restroom in a totally different experience. These will all be new experiences for you and your child.

Things to avoid:

*Do not punish your child when he or she has an accident.

*Do not constantly remind or ask your child to use the potty. This may create undue pressure, and typically is met with resistance from the child.

(Note: This is also not toilet learning, this is getting your child to sit on the potty every five minutes and hopefully catching a pee before they go in their pants!)

*Do not make your child sit on the toilet against her will.

Finally, if your child is not toilet trained within 3 months, consult your family doctor to rule out any medical issues. The reason that your child has most likely not learned to use the potty is that he or she is simply just not ready. Do not get discouraged. Soon enough diapers will be a thing of the past and you will be wishing it did not all go by so fast.

Cherish these times with all of your heart, even if they do stink!

Recommended Potty Time Books

"You Can Go to the Potty" by William Sears, M.D., Martha Sears, R.N. and Renee Andriani (Illustrator)

"Everyone Poops" Written and illustrated by Taro Gomi

"Too Big for Diapers" Sesame Street Series

"First Experiences: It's Potty Time" by Holtzbrinck Publisher

Mother, early childhood educator, parent counselor, and author, Colleen Newman is degreed in Early Childhood Education and Psychology. She spent several years teaching preschoolers before the birth of her first child. As a new mother, Newman enjoyed breastfeeding and taking care of her son so much that she decided that she wanted to share her love for children and her natural parenting finesse with other parents. My Baby and More Parent Coaching and Educational Services, a home-based business started by Newman, was created in 2005. My Baby and More provides parents with the education and support of positive parenting and natural parenting methods such as breastfeeding, babywearing, and attachment parenting through one-on-one phone, email, in-home and office consultations, seminars, and classes. Newman is also a Breastfeeding Counselor for WIC and holds a certificate as a Certified Happiest Baby Educator from Dr. Harvey Karp’s Happiest Baby Program. Her latest work Near Mama's Heart, a children's book about breastfeeding has been named an instant classic.

Surviving Bedwetting - A Parents Guide to Bedwetting Treatment and Solutions

The causes of bedwetting in children can be from an imbalance in bladder muscles, a bladder that is too small to hold the amount of urine that they produce, consuming diuretic medication (a substance that directly increases urine output) such as cola or chocolate, making more urine due to a chronic illness such as diabetes, hormone imbalance, or simply from genetics.

Boys are more likely to wet the bed than girls, but girls feel bad about it at an earlier age. Girls are more sensitive to bedwetting early on, but boys eventually catch up. This has to do with the rate at which boys and girls emotionally mature.

While there is no magic wand that you can wave for bedwetting cures, there are some bedwetting solutions you can use to get your child through the tough times. Try one of these effective bedwetting treatments to minimize the effects of bedwetting:

Bedwetting Medication

Your doctor can prescribe a bedwetting medication to help keep your little one stay dry. This medication is a synthetic hormone that helps the body retain fluid through the night. Most people don't want to have their children on medication all of the time, but this could be
an effective option when your child wants to go to a sleepover.

Bedwetting Alarms

A bedwetting alarm has a moisture sensor that attaches to your child's pajamas. When it senses wetness a small alarm will sound alerting the child (and parents) that he or she has wet. If the child hasn't completely emptied their bladder, this may help train them to use the toilet during the night. When you first start using the alarm, someone will need to be there when the child wets to walk him to the bathroom and empty his or her bladder while the alarm is still going off. After a few weeks, the alarm will start waking your child up on their own, and they'll know what to do. After yet a few more weeks, the child will learn to recognize the feeling of having to use the toilet during the night. The good news is that most children don't regress after being trained with this method.

Bedwetting Underwear

Bedwetting Underwear or bedwetting diapers are not effective at keeping your child dry, but they sure will help your sanity and possibly their embarrassment at having wet the bed! With these, you won't have to change the sheets every morning, and your child will not have to sleep in a puddle of urine. Make sure that your child agrees to this method...bedwetting is a very emotional problem, and you don't want them to feel any worse about it than they already do.

Rubber Sheets for Bedwetting

If bedwetting diapers or underwear are not an option, consider using rubber sheets for bedwetting. These will protect your child's mattress, and make an easier clean-up for you in the morning.

I know that it's hard to imagine right now, but this stage of bedwetting will eventually pass. Just remember that bedwetting is usually a normal part of growing up. Your most important job as a parent is to help your young son or daughter make it through this time with as little emotional damage as possible.

Click here to learn more about about bedwetting cures, treatments, and survival tips

About the author: Tiffany Blom is the publisher of http://www.improve-your-sleep.com a website dedicated to help those with trouble sleeping find the peaceful quality sleep that they deserve.

Should Parents Involve Older Siblings in Taking Care of the Bedwetter's Diapers and Plastic Pants?

Many parents have their older children be responsible for helping their younger siblings in various aspects of their lives and they might want to involve their older children in taking care of the bed-wetter's wet garments. This is a delicate issue because it has the potential to embarrass the bed wetter. Each situation is different. As mentioned previously if a parent uses diapers and plastic pants to deal with the youngster's bed-wetting it's inevitable that the other children of the house are going to discover this. They're going to notice plastic pants hanging to dry on the clothesline, see their mother washing wet diapers and plastic pants, and folding up the diapers and pants after they're laundered. With that in mind it might be a good idea to talk to the older child and ask them if they would be comfortable helping out with these chores.

I think it's good for the older child because it helps them be more supportive about these kinds of problems. Hopefully it will also make them more sympathetic about bed-wetting and the use of diapers to manage it. They in turn can carry these attitudes with them in later years. For example if they decide to have children themselves and if their children wet the bed, their experience helping their younger sibling deal with it will help them handle their own child's bed-wetting in a gracious, gentle manner. That being said if the parents feel that the older child won't have the maturity to deal with the situation in a tactful way or if the bed wetter will feel embarrassed about their siblings taking care of the diapers and plastic pants then the parents should not let them help with this particular chore.

The first step is to talk to the youngster and tell them that you're considering involving their brother or sister in taking care of the diapers and plastic pants. How they feel about this is depends to a large extent on how close they are to their siblings. Another thing that needs to be considered is the following. Girls might be more receptive to doing this type of chore due to the fact that they tend to be more mature than boys and because of their innate maternal instinct. If you have a son that wets the bed and he has both boy and girl siblings he might feel more comfortable with his sister or sisters handling this. On the other hand it could go the other way. The same thing applies if you have a girl bed-wetter. Girls tend to be sensitive regarding this and there's always the possibility that they could feel self-conscious about a boy taking care of their laundry (whether regular laundry or diapers and plastic pants). In a situation such as this the parent has to ask them who they would prefer to deal with this. Once this is known, the parents can then make a decision based on what they know about the character and maturity level of the sibling or siblings in addition to how responsible they are. At this point the parents can talk to the sibling or siblings and tell them what their particular task will be-one sister will be responsible for washing the diapers and plastic pants, one will be responsible for folding them up and putting them in the laundry basket, etc. A second option would be to have the siblings alternate-one weekend one sister will take care of the wet garments, the next weekend the other sister will, etc. As parents know there are many different ways to assign responsibilities and this situation is no exception. If the bed-wetter has only one sibling this obviously changes the equation somewhat but the same reasoning applies-the parent has to get the bed-wetter's opinion about this and then make a judgment call about whether to involve them.

Bed-Wetting can be very stressful for a child particularly if the bed-wetter has siblings. As we all know brothers and sisters can be very cruel particularly where this is concerned. Whatever decision you make in this matter the most important thing to impress upon them is this-any teasing about the bed-wetting and diapers and plastic pants will not be tolerated. It's important for the bed-wetter to have a nurturing and supportive environment. This more than anything else will help them through this difficult time.

Colin Ellison

Ways Parents Can Encourage Older Children and Teenagers to Wear Diapers to Bed and Other Topics

If the child, adolescent, or teenager is embarrassed about wearing the diapers and plastic pants to bed there are a number of different ways you can encourage them. First, you can stress how much more comfortable it will be waking up in a dry bed. Second, you can have them go to different online forums (with a younger child it's a good idea to supervise them while they are doing this) and talk to people suffering from similar conditions. There are many online forums dealing with bed-wetting and other incontinence issues. Sometimes it helps to have a sympathetic ear and to realize there are other people in the same boat.

Third, you might consider ordering a large or extra large, adult size pair of plastic pants and/or diapers. By showing the youngster an actual adult size pair of plastic pants or diapers which is a size that is larger than what they would wear, it might help them feel better about wearing diapers to bed. By actually seeing an adult size it emphasizes the fact that adults wear them to bed also. This will help them more psychologically as opposed to just seeing something on a web site.

Fourth,you can explain to them that people have different needs in terms of managing their incontinence-that's why they have so many different styles of incontinence garments. There are different levels of incontinence-some wet more than others. You need to stress to the youngster that what works for one person might not be as effective for another. Fifth,emphasize to the child or teen that they are only wearing the diapers at night. Unlike during the day it is much easier to conceal the use of diapers at night.

In some circumstances however it might be difficult to be discreet about the use of diapers particularly if the parents are using cloth diapers and plastic pants to manage the bed-wetting. I would like to digress for a moment and discuss this briefly. If the bed wetter has siblings it's inevitable that they're going to notice either diapers in the laundry or plastic pants hanging up to dry on the clothesline. Or if the bed wetter shares a room with a sibling it's impossible to hide the diaper use from their brother or sister. If this is the case it's imperative that the parents let the other children of the household know that any teasing about the bed-wetting or diapers and plastic pants will not be tolerated and will result in punishment.

On a related note there is also the possibility of friends of either the bed wetter or sibling finding out about the bed-wetting when they come over to visit. There are some precautions that you can take to prevent this from happening. If the youngster uses cloth diapers and plastic pants you can put the diaper pail in the laundry room before the friends come over. And if you're worried about them accidentally discovering the diapers and plastic pants you can put them in a special bin (which you can purchase from Target or Walmart) and either label the bin "school papers" (or something similar) or take the bin out of the room before the friends come over and put it back after they leave. Plastic sheets can also be a concern due to the fact that some of them make a crinkling or rustling sound which can be discovered if friends sit on the bed. I have read and heard about this happening in some cases,however this can also be remedied. You can take the waterproof sheet off before the friends come over and put it back on again before going to bed or put extra cloth sheets over the protective sheet to muffle the sound of the plastic. It should be mentioned that while this is a possibility with some plastic sheets if the youngster has the bed covered with a rubber sheet this won't be a concern.

At this point I would like to get back to suggestions on how to motivate an older child or teenager who is reluctant to wear diapers to bed. The last idea I have is to implement a reward system designed to encourage the child or teen to wear diapers to bed. You can offer to increase their allowance by a certain amount. You could also say that if they agree to wear the diapers to bed for at least 6 months they can earn a certain amount of money per month such as $20.00(or whatever amount the parents can afford and are willing to pay them). If they don't wear the diapers and plastic pants to bed you can deduct a dollar for each night they don't wear them. In addition to having a specific amount they can earn per month, if financially feasible it might be a good idea to purchase a present for them which you can give them after the 6 month trial period. Or they can earn a specified number of gold stars or points per month which they can cash in for presents. Again they will be deducted a gold star or point each night they did not wear the diapers to bed.

I think that verbal praise is an important part of the reward system. There is always the possibility that some older children and teens might get discouraged and not put on the diapers some nights. If this is the case it's very important to encourage them. Remind them of how proud you are for trying them out and also remind them of the reward system. I would say something along these lines: "We're real proud of you for trying the diapers and plastic pants out. I realize that it's no fun wearing them but just keep in mind the advantages of wearing them-you'll wake up nice and dry. Also remember that the more nights you wear them to bed the more money you'll make. I know it's hard but try to hang in there."

I think that in order to motivate them to wear the diapers to bed for the long term it's important to have some small rewards they can earn along the way while waiting for the big reward at the end. It's my contention that after the 6 months is up they'll feel so accustomed to wearing them and so comfortable wearing them that they will want to wear the diapers to bed of their own volition and not need rewards anymore. After 6 months they'll most likely realize how comfortable it is to wake up nice and dry.

In combination with using a reward system there are certain scripts(as the mental health professionals say) that a child, teen, or adult can say to themselves in order to feel more comfortable with the idea of wearing the diapers and plastic pants to bed. For example he or she could say something like this to themselves: "This is just a garment designed to absorb urine and prevent it from getting myself and my bed wet. Wearing this is no reflection on my maturity. In fact by taking the appropriate precautions in dealing with the situation I am acting more mature. It doesn't matter what most people think. I am doing what's best for me in my particular situation and circumstances" or "I'm just wearing these at night-no one but myself and my family know I have them on. I'm asleep while I have them on so it's not like I'm going to notice them much anyway except when I put them on at night and take them off in the morning. It's like having a tooth pulled under anesthesia-I won't even notice it."

Finally another thing a person could say is the following: "Everyone's body develops at different rates-some people are potty trained later than others and some wet the bed later than others. My bladder has just not developed enough where I can stay dry at night unlike during the day. I wore diapers during both the day and night to protect me when I was a baby so why should it be any different now-I still have the problem of wetting. Just because I'm older doesn't mean I still don't need them. Besides they make diapers and plastic pants in my size so there must be a need for them-I am not the only one who wears them for bed-wetting."

If the child is younger you can tell them to play a little game. You can tell them to imagine that the diapers and plastic pants are a like dam and the bed is like a city. The dam (in this case the diapers and plastic pants) keeps the city (in this case the bed) from being flooded. Or they can pretend they're a superhero and the diapers and plastic pants give them special powers-in this case the power to prevent their bed from getting wet. Finally they can look at the diapers and plastic pants in the same way as a raincoat.

I'd like to wrap this section up with an example of how concerns over both the issues of maintaining discretion when using diapers and the negative image of diapers can adversely effect a person's self-esteem. In this part I'd like to mention the difficulties faced by the individual with coming to terms with wearing diapers to bed and what a person could tell him or herself (what the professionals call positive self talk) to overcome the distress associated with these difficulties or at the very least minimize the distress. Although the person in question was talking specifically about his objections to wearing cloth diapers and plastic pants to bed I feel my suggestions are applicable to the use of disposable diapers also.

When reading about the teen's difficulties I was struck by how poignant it was and how sad it is that other children and teenagers feel the same way. The teen feels that certain aspects of the diapers make him feel like a baby. The pins, the bulk of the diapers between the legs, and the sound of the plastic as he moved around were triggers in his mind that made him feel this way. As mentioned many older children and teens probably feel the same way but instead of viewing these aspects in a negative light it is conceivable to put a positive spin on the situation-instead of seeing the glass as half empty with the right attitude one can see the glass as half full. For instance the bulk of the diapers can be looked at as an advantage - it provides more absorbency and therefore better protection. Regarding a teen's embarrassment about the rustling of the plastic pants as they move around it's important to remember that since the diapers are worn only at night this shouldn't be a concern. The parents should let him or her know that it's not unusual for a certain degree of noise to be associated with some diapers. Instead of viewing the plastic as negative the person can view it in a positive light-it makes the diapers waterproof which keeps the user dry and comfortable. If however the bed wetter shares a room with a sibling and is concerned that the sibling will notice the crinkling sound the diapers make when he or she moves around in bed that concern can be addressed beforehand by the parents.

As mentioned the parents should let all siblings of the bed wetter know that any teasing regarding the bed-wetting and diapers will not be tolerated and the parents will punish those involved. As far as the safety pins are concerned these should be viewed no differently than other tools for fastening clothes such as snaps, buttons, or zippers.

In terms of siblings and bed-wetting there is one other point I'd like to bring up. There are cases where an older child might wet the bed and the younger sibling or siblings don't have this problem. This can be a blow to the child's ego and if the parents have the child wear diapers to bed it can make him or her feel more self-conscious and embarrassed. If the child expresses concerns about this it's important for the parents to have a discussion with the child. The parents can stress to him or her that it frequently happens that children develop at different rates and this type of situation happens all the time. If the child doesn't seem concerned about it I wouldn't even bring it up-it's very possible that he or she hasn't even thought about this but if you bring it up then they will be concerned. In terms of the siblings of the bed wetter and how they react to the fact that he or she still wears diapers to bed I'll reiterate what I've said before-the parents should have a discussion with the siblings of the bed wetter (both older and younger) and tell them in no uncertain terms that any teasing about the bed-wetting and/or diapers will not be tolerated.

Finally I would tell the child who wets the bed that plenty of adults also have problems with bed-wetting and they wear diapers at night too. Many of them probably feel the same way. I've read about cases where one or more parents have bed-wetting problems but their children don't. The parent originally feels embarrassed about wearing diapers to bed but many times the children are supportive of their parents. This is another point that should be brought up to the older child, adolescent, or teenager that needs to wear overnight diapers.

At this point I would like to discuss the following. I feel this particular topic dovetails in with the concept of self-esteem. Although this is not a common occurrence I felt it needed to be addressed. As mentioned I have done a fair amount of reading on both bed-wetting and the use of diapers to manage it and in my readings I've ran across situations in which babysitters and parents of children that wet the bed had to get the children ready for bed. A friend of mine years ago told me of a situation where she had to babysit a 6 year old boy and she had to diaper him before he went to bed. I figured at that age he was potty trained and just needed the diapers for a bed-wetting problem. This was the days before pull-ups and "Goodnites" so she had to use tape-on disposable diapers. The child threw a fit and refused to let her put the diapers on him which I can't say as I blame him. I don't think the child had any cognitive and/or physical impairments that prevented him from putting on his own diapers so I was kind of puzzled why it would be necessary for her to be involved in getting him ready for bed. Most older children are very self-conscious about this issue and by diapering them you might embarrass them.

I'm not a pediatrician or developmental psychologist so I'm not an expert on this,but there are certain cognitive and physical tasks-such as putting on pants, tying shoes, etc. that can be accomplished at a certain age by children that are not developmentally disabled. Putting on one's own diapers would seem to fit into this category also. My intuition tells me that above the age of 3 or 4 a child should be taught how to diaper themselves. If the child incorrectly fastens the diapers and it causes the diapers to leak the parents can teach them the correct way to put on the diapers. They can do this by laying the diaper on the bed, have the child sit in the diaper,and once the child is correctly positioned in the diaper explain to them how to draw the diaper up between the legs,how to place it around the waist,and how to fasten the tapes. After the child puts the diapers on the parents or babysitter can check to see if the child fastened them correctly. If not the child should do the refastening not the parents or babysitter. The child will eventually get the hang of this and in time will not need the parents or babysitter in the room to supervise them.

At this age children are starting to get very self-conscious about these issues and you don't want to embarrass the child. With that in mind it's good to teach them to be self-sufficient in this area as soon as possible. Disposable diapers are pretty simple to put on. Pin-on diapers might be a little trickier for some children but I believe that they can also be mastered. Many parents might be worried that a younger child might accidentally stick themselves with the pins. I spoke to a woman from a company that manufactured and sold pin-on diapers for older children to get her take on the situation and she told me that for a child of 7 or younger they might need help from their parents whereas if the child was older than 7 it might depend on their development. As in the case of the disposable diapers the parents should lay the diaper on the bed, show the child how to fold it correctly, have them sit in the diaper,make sure they're correctly positioned in the diaper, show the child how to fasten it around him or her, and how to safely pin the diapers on. As before the parents or babysitter can check to make sure the child put the diapers on correctly and if not have them do the diapering again. As far as the plastic pants are concerned they can also put them on by themselves.

It's very important for parents to teach their child to be independent in this area otherwise they'll feel ashamed and this will adversely effect their self-esteem,perhaps for a long time. I've read about a case where the parents diapered their older child who wet the bed in front of the whole family in an attempt to shame him into stopping. There are many other things I've heard parents do to shame their child into stopping bed-wetting but out of sensitivity to my readers I won't mention them. These practices are despicable and a form of child abuse. In terms of diapering older children that wet the bed,it seems that the situations described above are atypical but even though this is the case, my friend's experience concerned me and it made me feel that this issue needed to be addressed.

There are a couple other points regarding discretion that I'd like to talk about. The first has to do with various caretakers of the bed wetter. These include babysitters,relatives,friends of the parents, and other people along these lines. Many children who wet the bed and have to wear diapers for the problem dread when their parents go out for the evening. If the parents have a good relationship with the caretakers and they feel comfortable discussing the issue of the bed-wetting and diaper use with them and they feel the caretakers will be understanding about it,this shouldn't be a concern. If however they don't feel comfortable discussing this issue with the babysitter or other caretakers and the parents feel they won't be understanding about it,then it's advisable to make sure the protective garments are laundered(if the parents are using garments such as cloth diapers and plastic pants) and made available to the child beforehand;that way if the child wakes up wet in the middle of the night and has to change,he or she can be discreet about it.

If the parents are considering hiring a nanny to take care of their child or children and one of them has to wear diapers for a bed-wetting problem,the parents might want to discuss this with the agency and perhaps during the interview with the nanny also. Most nannies have dealt with these types of problems in the past therefore they should be very professional regarding this issue. The second point has to do with spending the night at other peoples houses(such as a friend's house) and going away to camp. Again if the parents have a good relationship with the parents of the friend and feel comfortable discussing this problem with them this shouldn't be a concern. There might be a place that the child can use to change into their garments before going to bed and after waking up in the morning.

As far as camps are concerned there are a couple of programs geared toward individuals that suffer from nocturnal enuresis and other incontinence related issues. One of them is called Camp Brandon for Boys in New York state,the other is Camp Kirk in Canada. There might be other camps out there of a similar nature. In order to find out you can do a Google search. You can try using the following key words-(or key words of a similar nature) " camps with programs for disabled/special needs youth" or " camps with programs for bed wetters." The contact information for Camp Brandon for Boys is-14 Jerry Drive, Plattsburgh, NY 12901,Phone:(518)570-5184. The contact info for Camp Kirk is 1083 Portage Rd., Kirkfield, Ontario KOM 2BO. Phone:(705)438-1353.They also have an off season address and phone number- 115 Howden Rd.,Scarborough,Ontario M1R 3C7. Phone: (416)782-3310 These might not be an option for many people so in this case the parents need to talk to the head of the camp program and find out what types of provisions are available for youth that wet the bed. For example if the parents use diapers and plastic pants for their bed wetter are there facilities available to wash the diapers and plastic pants?

In terms of the youngster staying away from home there is one other scenario that I'd like to discuss and that's concerning boarding school. The advice I gave for parents sending their child to camp applies here also-the parents need to talk someone at the school beforehand and ask them what type of provisions are available for the bed wetter.

Colin Ellison

Should Parents Require Older Children, Adolescents, Or Teens to Wear Diapers For Bed-Wetting? Part 1

I've heard parents say that it's okay if an older child, adolescent, or teenager doesn't want to wear diapers to bed provided they take care of the wet clothes and bedding but I think that sends the wrong message. I think it sends the message that it's okay to be unsanitary. As mentioned previously it's unsanitary and unhealthy (not to mention uncomfortable) to lie all night in wet sheets and clothing. The following analogy might help. If a youngster has a cut you would have them put on a band-aid in order to prevent blood from getting on their clothes and on other stuff in the house in addition for sanitary reasons. Wearing a diaper to bed should be viewed no differently-the diaper is a band-aid for a bladder control problem. Or if the youngster was going to go out in the rain the parents would see to it that they wear a raincoat or use an umbrella to keep the child from getting wet. All of them are waterproof and all of them serve the function of keeping the individual from getting wet.

The bottom line is that people do not like getting wet and take the appropriate precautions to prevent that from happening. Setting aside concerns of being unsanitary and uncomfortable for the moment, even if the child or teen did offer to wash their own sheets and garments it should be mentioned to them that it is much more time consuming and a lot more work to wash a whole bunch of wet sheets, blankets, and pajamas than to wash the wet diapers and plastic pants.

Right now I'd like to touch on the following. Many parents might be wondering if they should require their older child, adolescent, or teen to wear diapers to bed if all methods to cure the bed-wetting have failed and they leak through the pull-ups or "Goodnites". The consensus seems to be that the child or teen should be involved in the selection of what type of garments to wear to bed. While I agree with this theory in principle, in practice it might not work out all the time. The reasoning behind this theory is that by letting the child or teen be involved in the decision making process they will feel more in control of the situation thereby improving their self-esteem which in turn will make them feel less embarrassed.

Many children, adolescents, and teenagers feel babyish about bed-wetting and a large number of people feel that by forcing them to wear diapers to bed you are taking the decision about how to deal with the bed-wetting out of their hands thereby making them feel even more like a baby. I can certainly understand this point of view but in many situations parents make decisions for their older child or teenager that are in their best interests but they don't like. Wearing glasses and braces are just two things that come to mind. If it were up to the youngster they wouldn't wear glasses and braces at all. Is it such a stretch to apply the same reasoning to the use of diapers to manage bed-wetting? Besides I would think it would be less embarrassing and stressful for the child or teenager to wear diapers to bed than wear glasses or braces-after all since the diapers are worn only at night their friends won't notice them whereas with the glasses or braces they will.

While it is good to grant children and teenagers more autonomy as they get older in order for them to be a more confident and responsible adult there are certain types of knowledge that only come with experience. Choosing an appropriate incontinence product is one of them-there's a lot of trial and error involved in choosing an incontinence product that works well. There are many factors involved in choosing an appropriate incontinence product-the type and level of incontinence, whether your incontinence is during the day, night, or both, how absorbent the product is and how effectively it protects the individual, how durable a product is, a person's budget, how discreet the products are, how certain products effect an individual's skin, whether or not a person has the time and/or desire to wash diapers and plastic pants, etc. While adults have the capability to weigh these decisions and are able to make a sound choice in the matter, many children and teens don't have the maturity, knowledge, experience, and ability to make an informed choice in this situation. Their decision about what type of incontinence product to wear to bed will be influenced by what they perceive the image of diapers to be rather than how well the product keeps them dry at night.