Every kid has a price, and for my almost 3-year-old year old daughter, it was red French panties loaded with rows and rows of ruffled lace on the backside. She wanted to wear those panties more than anything else in the world. But fortunately, they wouldn't fit over a diaper. So if she was going to wear them, she was going to have to learn how to use the potty.
In order to drive that point home, I allowed her to wear the panties on a couple of occasions without a diaper, and the results were disastrous for her. On one occasion, urine soaked through the panties and made a mess all over the pretend playhouse she and I constructed with sheets draped over chairs. At another time the "accident" happened when her friend was visiting, and she was totally embarrassed.
There's nothing like emotional moments like these to seize the bull by the horns and wrestle it to the ground. Emotional moments can be great motivators and genuine motivation is essential to successful potty training. In situations where children are not motivated, the parents end up taking on the responsibility for getting the child to the potty at the appropriate times, and this means that the parent is being trained and is jumping through all of the hoops rather than the child.
However, as important as motivation is, it's meaningless unless the child is ready to use the toilet on his or her own. A lot has been written about potty training readiness. One article I read included a list of 18 conditions to consider. (Mercifully it stated that, "Not all conditions needed to be met," just a majority of them.) The young mother who shared the article with me moaned, "It's just got to be easier than this to figure out when it's time to potty train a child!"
Fortunately she was right. Determining the right time to potty train a child can be much less complicated than 18 conditions might suggest.
The bottom line is this--it's time to start potty training when:
1. Your child is between two and three--the closer to three the better.
2. Your child is physically ready--which means that your child's bladder and rectal mussels are developed enough for him or her to control. (You will know that your child is physically ready when he or she begins to soil his or her diapers during times and in places that suit him or her.)
3. Your child does one or more of the following:
• Imitates parental behavior
• Understands and obeys directions without undue resistance
• Takes pleasure in pleasing adults
• Wants to be orderly and put things away
• Feels that wet or soiled diapers are unpleasant
• Stays dry for several hours or overnight
• Expresses a desire to wear big-boy or big-girl underpants
Now that we've clarified the criteria for deciding when to start potty training, let's get back to the motivation factor that we talked about earlier in this article. As I said before, every child has a price. Some children respond to special underpants like my daughter did. Others are satisfied with parental approval demonstrated by praise and acknowledgment (the more effusive and over-the-top, the better). Still others like small rewards like stickers on a chart or other small treats. Find your child's price, and you will rock-and-rule in the war you wage against dirty diapers!
Meanwhile, take heart in the fact that potty training is something that all parents eventually accomplish with 100% success-and this encouraging fact is going to include you!
Joy Berry
http://www.joyberrybooks.com
